I’ve decided to name my blogs with a word that describes how God has shown himself most prominently to me. Each blog will have a different name for the Lord that will summarize his overwhelming showings of his characteristics to me during the recent time period. So, today, May 16th, just 19 days before this Global Journey begins, I want to tell you about my ever-faithful Jesus.
I heard about this trip in September of 2013 and was signed up to go that same month. Since then, I have been fundraising the $8,000 that is needed in order to go. I’m sure this sounds like quite a feat to anyone, and it was to me as well, but it seemed possible. I had raised $4,000 in 6 weeks last spring, so $8,000 in 8 months did not seem troubling. Yes, it would be hard, but I was unwavering in faith that my God would supply all my needs in Christ Jesus.
Now for the truth; it’s easy to say that I had unwavering faith and trusted God to supply all my needs. What is not easy to say is that my so called “unwavering faith” began to shake. A lot. Funds weren’t coming in. People that I thought would give, didn’t. Money that I thought I would make, I didn’t. And as foolish as it was of me, I doubted. I wondered if God had called me on this trip in the first place. I wondered if I rushed into this. I wondered if this was my “sign” to not go – to stay in America this summer like everyone else. As all these thoughts rushed through my head and I became so overwhelmed with the daunting thought that maybe I wasn’t supposed to go on this trip, I prayed that God would show me. Isn’t that the prayer we all pray? Just show me. Show me what you want from me. Show me what my next move is. Show me what you’re up to. It’s what we all want; we want to know what sort of plans HE has so that we can make our own. Too bad God isn’t one to lay out his blueprint for us, huh?
So, as time went on, I knew that I had a $5,000 deadline approaching in March. Basically, if I didn’t have that $5,000, it was all over. And you know how I felt about that? Embarrassed. I thought about telling everyone: “Sorry, I didn’t raise the money, so I can’t go” and seeing their faces fall. What would people think of me? What would they think of God? I had been claiming that God would come through for me, but what if He didn’t?
But He did.
OF COURSE, He did.
And it had NOTHING to do with me.
Who am I to care what man thinks of ME? Who am I to doubt the faithfulness of my God? I put this journey in my hands – in my faulty, crooked hands – and claimed that it was in God’s. If I truly believed the Lord had it, I never would have had the thoughts of what man thought of me. I never would have doubted. I never would have been fearful.
The beauty in it all is that it WAS in God’s hands, whether I acted like it or not. And He did it. $8,000 was given by the most gracious, God-fearing people. Most people that gave to my trip, I haven’t said more than five words to. PEOPLE THAT DO NOT KNOW ME GAVE ME MONEY. That will never make sense to me. And I think that’s the point. Because you know what? I can claim NOTHING from this whole experience. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to say I had any part of this. It was Jesus. It is Jesus.
So Church, I am thankful for these past 8 months. They have been SO trying, but I am thankful for them. I am so expectant of all that God will do on this trip and I am excited that I get to share my journey with you. Thank you for being the Bride of Christ, showing up and adoring Him with me. He is wonderful, beautiful and FAITHFUL.
For His Name,